What am I to be now that I’m a widow?
I sit and ponder this question because I have no idea what my new life is supposed to look like.
I study the sky, searching for my answer as if expecting God to write it there with His finger, and I see a distant silver speck. A plane is heading for some exotic location, carrying couples who will have romantic dinners under the stars, take hand-holding walks on a beach, and smile intimately at each other as they close their bedroom door.
The world is made for couples like those on that plane. For years I took membership in the Couples Club for granted. But I am no longer a couple. I am a single. One, not two. I no longer belong.
So who am I now that there’s only one plate at the table, one glass, one knife, fork and spoon, one napkin.
There’s only one pillow with a head dent, one towel damp after a shower. There’s only one toothbrush in the holder. The seat is never left up any more.
I can still write Mrs. in front of my name, but I’m no longer in a marriage relationship. You need two people for a marriage, and there’s only me.
Terrifying thought. There’s only me.
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
But I call to God,
And the Lord saves me.
Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in my distress,
And He hears my voice.
-Psalm 55: 16, 17
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